neurological dryer lint

the KMFDM show was excellent last night. my sister and i ate at a little cafe called heck's in cleveland, and then went to the show at the odeon. the crowd was about what i expected. thoroughly enjoyable show, though, made me realize how much of their catalog i'm clueless on. i did jump in the pit for a drug against war, though, one of my faves. sascha konietzko stood at his drummer/podium thing, mirrored shades and mohawk, looking half like a bored president giving a lecture and half like a cartoon character. brilliant. i'd definitely see them again.

got back home at 1, did school stuff and then renee and i got dinner w/koz and marina and ken and kim heinzelmann. tasty russian food. then mark and i got some steak&shake. mmm. still got some papers to write tonight. and most excellent of all - in 25 hours i'll be playing halo2. :)

i feel good. i was a little frustrated (mostly w/the coughing action) this afternoon, but i had a good drive home, i listened to the rest of that miller talk about romeo and juliet, and something about it clicked this time. i've heard it in his talk before and i read about it and something just hit me and i realized, it's totally on, that idea of choosing to give up my set of ideas and theology, and be in love. more than that, that it's okay that i'm broken, i don't have to perform for God so that he won't be disappointed, any more than i ever have had to. i can come to him with empty hands, and he won't be shocked or angry - in fact, he prefers it that way. go figure. how many times have i said this on here? how many more times will i? can i reapproach him every day willing to admit that i have nothing to offer him that he didn't give me - and that i gotta begin to rely on him? hmm.

listening to: kanye west - two words