i know where i belong
oops, it's 12:45. i've been playing burnout. heh. gotta go to work in the morning.
i haven't enjoyed a racing game this much since, maybe pole position. it's really that good. i've determined that if Gabe & Tycho from PA recommend it, and it's not an RPG/RTS/Tactical Strategy game, i'll probably enjoy it. it's shown true frequently.
but here's the other thing. i feel like i'm GOOD at this game, finally, as most other games i pick up and i put in time and effort and i never really get better. maybe not as much time & effort as other, more hardcore gamers. granted, i don't exactly have all the waking hours minus work to do so... but dangit it's good to feel good at something. especially a genre (racing) that i've always been a drastic failure in. probably because this one involves blowing things up.
i think there are those that ... well they don't take for granted the ability to know they're good at things... they just don't fathom the concept that some people might not feel like they have a whole lot of talent. and so the desire to feel like they're skilled, talented, able to learn... shoot, the desire to feel accepted and important... those things which feel natural to some don't feel natural to others. and i guess it all balances out in some way. but it's a deficiency that, from the outside, doesn't appear all that endearing - those of us who are in need of approval or acceptance from somewhere, we (our motives, our actions) aren't understood very well by those who do feel comfortable in themselves and their significance and ability. we feel small and weak and desperate, a mouse cowering in a crowded room of giants.
that's a pretty sad, depressing image, and i'm sorry about that. i shouldn't be in that mood right now... i just won about a zillion races. guess that's clear, how significant being good at burnout really is. :) there are plenty of other things that make one significant, the important things. i think i'll go to bed thinking about those for once. :)
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