neurological dryer lint

so no new family guy til... argh... may 1?? that's terrible. sigh.

so like all the other private sector schmucks i have to work in the morning. but i'm not complaining, actually. i don't dread it, really, like i used to. having a (sort of) budget and a plan to fix some of my ailing equipment is really, really cool.

renee and i had a fascinating conversation about self-control: how she can just will herself to stop doing something that's, say, not good for her, like drinking water instead of pop, and she's baffled at how something so simple can be so difficult for anyone else. and how i am the polar opposite, a being lacking any semblance of control over my actions, a runaway cab bouncing between the guardrails on the highway, killing everything in sight, and i stare at the bad habits and selfish actions and fight and fight and fight and lose. we're two very, very different people. and i couldn't think of anyone else like her.

i feel like a very small portion of the people out of everyone i know is like her, or close to that end of the spectrum - able to actually change things about their lives with the ease of changing a light bulb. possibly it's me visualizing everyone around me as i am, so as to avoid accountability for my actions. probably that. but who knows? one of the things i liked about meet the fockers was greg's parents, encouraging only love and support, not competition. deniro's character saw it as breeding weakness. but dustin hoffman, who plays greg's dad, has a sweet line: "it's not about winning or losing, it's about passion." i wonder if that's true or a lie made up by those of us who don't win often.

so there's a balance there. it's a good one. you refer to the prophecy, of the one who will bring balance to the force?

you believe it's this boy?

listening to: grandmaster flash - u know what time it is