neurological dryer lint

frickin crap.

so renee and meagan got held up and robbed last night by three guys with guns. i haven't been this angry in a really really long time. you have to REALLY watch yourself in clifton. really. it's not just a nice idea. walking around the area when it's dark - even if it's with another girl - is simply asking for trouble. it's lame and ridiculous that it has to be like that, and i really don't know how you're supposed to live a 'normal' life, but it's just how it is. cops don't camp out in the areas they should. people are evil and messed up. they don't deserve to be treated like that. fortunately (i guess) they used renee's credit card once before we could turn it off. and it was at a gas station - so that means that the gas station will have them on camera. it's something, anyway...

this is a good time to bring up my anakin complex. let me explain. last saturday night i stayed home to relax and get some alone time and watched sw: ep2. and in watching it i realized something i hadn't before - i'm way too much like anakin skywalker in that movie. as i watched it i listened to the things he said, his attitudes, his rationales, his feelings, and saw a whole lot of parallels to the way i think. i've become a lot more agressive and arrogant in a lot of things (although most of those feelings stay in my head and never get aired). i tend to rush into things thinking i know everything much quicker than i used to. and most clearly i see the vengeance / revenge thing intensely - i CHEERED when anakin slaughtered the tuskan raiders that tortured his mom. i would have done the exact same thing. now i don't know if that's bad or good or normal or whatever - but it's definitely how my heart reacted. is that justice? or is that savageness? am i turning to the dark side?

i doubt it, actually. i know my heart is good and i'm being changed into something better (not worse) by God, because i gave control to Him. so what's this all mean then? because i know i wanted to eviscerate the guys who robbed renee and meagan. i never tell lies, but i am a savage.