neurological dryer lint

like a bunch of other churches in the area, lifespring just started the consumed series developed by crossroads. even though i've known for a few months that it was coming down the pipeline, i was still surprised at how powerfully i was struck by the first week's content, and more than that, how ready i was to hear it.

for years i have half-rationalized, half-ignored my own rampant media/gadget addiction... "it's my hobby", or "i tithe / donate enough", etc... since we got married renee has (very patiently) helped me to curb it a bit, but the root cause hasn't been addressed - the addiction... the high you get from picking up something new... a feeling i have also been objectively aware of for years, and also rationalized away.

since sunday, and then our study's first week of discussion about the material on monday, i've felt the weight of my possessions and my desire to buy stuff. i even had the quick, terrifying feeling of wanting to intentionally spend less than my normal self-imposed limit this month.

ZOMG! so what is it that made me ready, caused this obscene, radical reversal in my usual instinct? i have read dozens of words on the subject, heard hours of commentary from some very wise people and my heart hadn't budged an inch before this week. the content of the consumed series isn't all that different from anything i've seen before. maybe cause we are about to step into a thirty-year loan? but i've known that for a while. maybe it's just getting older? maybe it was asking God before this series started to really make it impact me this time.

in any case, i'm more hopeful about this particular flaw being fixed than i've been before. the series takes a great approach to the topic - and really illustrates effectively how easily we Americans are ensnared by advertising distrupting our contentment. crossroads did a bang-up job with the whole thing. now if you'll excuse me, i have to go sign up for thirty years of debt. :)

also - i take back what i said in 2005 - michael keaton as bruce wayne is > christian bale. what was i thinking? keaton has the nuance, the glum-lonely-wry-disturbed bachelor billionaire down pat, bale makes it a little too yuppie-scum, but that's probably my leftover angst from american psycho. *sigh* another few months til the dark knight, to see how bale matures the character...