neurological dryer lint

and i'm sorry every day
i won't always love these selfish things
- jimmy eat world

can't believe it's been a week since i posted. i certainly haven't been very interactive lately, with anyone, been feeling very idle, probably a result of three days with renee's family. not to say i don't enjoy being around them - i just don't know them that well - so i'm much more passive there. it's interesting - they're not really people i feel like to whom i can pony up my full personality just yet.

they're very fun people, though, you can tell that they have really great relationships. the generational gap is quite clear, though - the adults in the family all tend to feel a certain way about some things and most of their kids share totally different perspectives. during disagreements i would (naturally) throw my hat into the ring and discuss (argue) on the side of the younger generation... but i think i'm learning when it's appropriate to do so. hence the silence.

this muted passion, having been chewing away at my mental wiring for a while, seems to have severed something. something is disconnected. maybe it's just that i'm bored at work because lots of people are on vacation. i haven't felt this blah in a while, though. and it's like 50 degrees outside.

i think i just described this mood to get my brain active and working at something.

now that i've spent an NFL season trying to pay more attention to play calling and strategy i had hoped that i'd be a little better equipped when i fired up madden '06 for the first time. so who do i get week one in franchise mode? the pats. i went down 17-3, my only points being scored by Money Graham, the Bengals' little red haired girl. but it did sound phenominal on the home theater system i got from renee.

i also got several seasons of Seinfeld, which made avoiding the disaster against Buffalo on Saturday much easier. had i watched that game, several pieces of furniture would have been set aflame. instead i enjoyed the greatest DVD feature ever - 'notes about nothing', where they fill you in via subtitle on every little obscure reference in every episode. it's small yellow letter-shaped crack absorbed through the eyeballs.

yeah, it's not really druglike - again, trying to kick start the mental engine.

so i'm at work tomorrow too, and then either friday or monday depending on what our boss decides. i've got plenty to keep me entertained while the holidays turn down the volume on everyday life.