neurological dryer lint

it was like 60 degrees out tonight so i was outside on the balcony reading. i love sitting outside at night around here. i stopped to think about the concept that i've molded God into something that fits who i want him to be... maybe not in such a drastic fashion, but enough that the two of us coexist in a great deal of comfort and stability and maybe that's not totally right.

anyway as i thought i stepped to the edge and just stared out at all the stuff. thought about how many people i could see... i saw streets and the interstate, restaurants, stores, apartments, churches, houses... there were probably several hundred people in my field of view, the lights of harrison avenue masked by the bare trees, shifting the colors, making everything sparkle. so many people, all of them as complex as me, all of them with stories, families and people in their lives, things that are important to them, with things they wanted and things they hated. so many of them, so much life out there, and this was just within my point of view on the balcony. think of how many in the city, the continent, the planet. human civilization, so complex and fascinating an organism. and what's funny is that at any given time, you could feed me a truth serum and ask me who the most important person on the planet is and i would say 'myself'.

i love staring at enormity, at cities and mountains and crowds and the night sky. i love it because it is the only thing seemingly capable of forcing me to pull back (for a fleeting second) and realize i'm not the center of the universe. few other experiences can perform such a miraculous task.