neurological dryer lint

simon mentioned that we aren't getting very deep at vandelay lately. it's true - the dynamic is a little different than it was a few months ago. i always attributed it to football season... it sounds like simon thinks our hearts aren't in it as much, though, and i can agree with him a lot.

an explanation: vandelay industries is our sunday night bible study - currently brian (callahan), brad, simon, darren, ed, and me. you could also include retirees eric dunn and nick filippini. we've read thru books and through some of the bible and talk it over - very similar to any other study. we all go back far enough that we spend a good deal of time just hanging out in addition to talking about actual relevant content. indeed, we regularly tip the scales away from relevancy every week. which i've always enjoyed - i wouldn't show up if it was all work.

in past groups i've been a part of this has been the case to a lesser degree. in high school, d-group was pretty even keel between screwing around and real discussion... groups from churches i've been a part of were always way too discussion-based and felt like school... house study back at the compound, as brief as it was, leaned slightly more towards content, mostly because we spent all of our time hanging out together anyway.

all of us that show up to vandelay are all from very different places spiritually, see things from very different angles, and are looking for different things to help us grow. which has been hugely valuable to me. ed, for example, shows me how to care about things like obedience and staying within boundaries without sacrificing freedom. the two of us are 100% different in a lot of ways, but i love hearing what he has to say about any subject.

i've felt good about our balance between relevant content and hanging out, although it has kept me from talking about deeper stuff at times - a fear of pushing the balance back in the other direction when no one else is interested in doing so... last night when we were talking about this, though, everyone seemed to be of the opinion that the reason they were there was to learn and not dwell on how terrible of a coach tom coughlin is.

what works for me is adding fuel to the fire - give me more crap to talk about. i won't pull spiritual stuff out of nowhere just to sound spiritual - and i don't really generate that stuff without content (books and such) that pushes it. put a book in my hand, though, and i can talk about it. what works for others is being introspective - looking at their lives and considering what's going on, how God has been involved, ways that they see things changing.

i think all of those things can work together - and do, very well - in a group setting like ours. i don't want all of us sitting and staring at the ground cause we don't have a piece of paper to reference. i don't want to bounce around topically and get dizzy and overwhelmed.

in any case i'm grateful for the group and i love looking forward to sunday nights like i do. i love knowing i have a place that challenges me, enough that i grow, but not to the point where i feel obsolete and irrelevant because i don't think i can keep up. i know that i need inspiration, tangible as a couch and a piece of potpurri that someone's feeding me.

anyway, simon, i'm all for turning up the volume, whatever we think that might look like.